Blogging Too Far: Being a Minor Web Celebrity

I have been writing for years, most of it on various internet sites. In the 90's I was blogging every day when blogs didn't exist.  I was doing a self-help course called "Discover Your Artist Within", trying to change career from teaching to art, but I didn't know which part of art I should start with.  Part of this was getting up early and writing for 20 minutes every day.  The guidebook said this was meant to be kept private, but I thought that was a waste of time so I shared it with the world. 

I needed to change my first internet site from geocities because I had so many visitors I ran out of free bandwidth.  This kept on happening as my mainly text-only site kept getting too much traffic.  When I added cartoons and photos I needed to pay for people to read my stuff, which I thought went against the whole point of the internet and punished me for being successful.  Eventually I started re-writing my web text for my own newspaper column, being paid something like ten cents a word, maximum 300 words.  I then got a job as a roving reporter, writing about community events that were incredibly dull and operated by exceedingly amateur staff.  I felt like I was selling my soul to a very boring devil. My attempts at tongue-in-cheek humor got me loads of hate mail, so I had to get rid or the sarcasm and just write puff.  I even got a job reviewing movies but since I wasn't an established reviewer, I needed to be 100% positive to get my reviews published, otherwise I would be offending the newspaper's advertisers.  I kept trying ways to slip in hidden messages.  This period ended badly when a manufacturer wanted me to write a humorous piece promoting a refrigerator with a television in it.  How do you sincerely write 300 words promote a fridge with a TV in it? Why are people inventing such stupid things?  Why don't they invent better IKEA furniture that doesn't self-destruct after 3 months of use?

Years ago I was out clubbing and a guy came up to me and thanked me for putting my comics on the web - it turns out he had one printed out and stuck up in his work cubicle. The month before that, I noticed someone kept looking at me during a big street party, so I went up and introduced myself. "Hi, I'm Jake". She smiled, and said "I know."  That was a particularly freaky moment, where I wondered what else this person knew about me.  Maybe I was giving too much away.  Since that time I have completely revised the personal stuff I put online.  My Facebook page serves only one purpose - to remind my exes that I am still happy without them.  I don't Twitter because I don't care about what I do 80% of my day, so I really don't think anyone else would be interested.

This isn't the first time I've been known through the web. Years and years ago I had a website and huge email list for work, and it was there that I first learned how these things operate. 

It all started when I joined an email list, based in New York, and had a bit of a self-celebratory cheer for something I had just done in my classroom. Well, no-one who worked with me was prepared to listen, so I just talked to the 'ether'. That caused a bit of discussion, and soon after I was invited to write an article for a professional journal. My first! I was so thrilled!

Then I got invited to speak at a few conferences. One day I drove to a university on the coast (I was supposed to spend all day there networking, but I went to the beach and shopping instead.. and ran in late at 2pm.. typical me). So I turned up to this room, which was supposed to hold about 20 people, and it was packed... and they all seemed to know me. Freaky, freaky, freaky. I used to drive hours out to the most god-forsaken country towns, and the people there knew my work! A professor we employed to do some research at work got introduced to me. He said "I've heard your name before," and pulled out a paper I stuck on the web ages ago, which he was going to use as part of his work. That sort of stuff really makes your head spin. Or when Scholastic want to publish something of mine. Or when an international art gallery approached me to write their educational materials, and I get paid absurd amounts of money for two hours work.

Little things can really make a big impact. You hear people say that the internet gives you a massive audience, but it's strange to actually see it happening.

I once had an email list with about 450 professionals on it. It was called a discussion list, but was basically me on my soapbox gibbering on about nothing every day. After a while I got sick of it and pulled the plug, because I never got any feedback and I was never really too sure who was listening. After I announced that I was going to finish that venture, I got heaps of rather nasty email replies - how dare I stop! It was so weird - and it made me realize for every 1000 people who you communicate with on-line, only 1 will take the time to communicate back. That's why I'm thrilled to get daily feedback from my internet site. And I have never written anything special - not a single cure for cancer or anything remotely useful - just me spending half an hour a week prattling on about nothing.

When I want to cheer myself up, I do a search for myself on the web. One of my work-related articles was just added to a professional site in the UK:

An informal and candid discussion of educational technology and learning outcomes. Jake Riley discusses the myths that have been perpetuated in the field of educational technology. One by one, he debunks the myths (pro and con) and offers alternative arguments. Riley also offers arguments on the ramifications of using computers in the classroom including special staff training, support, potential distractions and difficulties. He invites reader input.  

In another search result, I found out I am now a "good friend and mentor" for somebody who ripped off my work years ago. (He's now stuck in the country and begs me for a job every other month, while I have been promoted way above his head: there is a god.)

That sort of recognition is a real buzz for me. And you have to remember, as a once abused child, I now have a voice in my head yelling at me, 24 hours a day, "You're useless! Nobody likes you! You are a mistake! They are all lying to you! Nobody would ever listen to you!" (Last weekend it changed to "You're a useless piece of crap," as obviously my subconscious mind got a bit bored with the same old thing.) I don't know what ramifications child abuse has for other people, but that's exactly the result it has on my life. It doesn't matter how much Prozac or Aurorix I take, or how many psychiatrists I see, I will always have that dull ongoing voice as a permanent scar on my psyche. That's one of the reasons I like the web so much - complete strangers giving me good feedback is good for the ego. 

While I have toned down a lot of themes from when I was in my 20's, I still base everything on honesty.  If you can't be honest, there's really no point opening your mouth.

So this whole notoriety thing is all based on me being honest. It's not terribly humorous, it's not sexy or action packed. It's just boring old me. There must be so many fraudulent and fake people in the world, that they idea of someone being honest is so novel, that it becomes entertaining. Go figure.